the game

Everyone still reading this site (if there is anyone, they’d no doubt be saying, “What’s there to read?”) knows that the Alabama-Florida game is an interesting situation for me. I’m in the unique spot of being a graduate of both institutions (though with one more degree from Bama), with a wife who has a Florida degree herself and no other connections to Bama than me.

It’s fairly obvious to everyone now that color schemes will be divided this day.

I’ve never witnessed personally a game of any kind in which Alabama has beaten Florida. At least, I don’t think so…I can’t remember if I was at the “Pettway drive” basketball game a few years back. So I feel like I’m a jinx. Kelly’s never been to a Bama game where Alabama lost. But she’s never been to a Bama game where the team that she wanted to win lost, either.

My prediction for the game? I think that this will be one of those “first to 20 wins” types. Both sides are extremely strong defensively. I still don’t know what to make of either offense. Sometimes Bama looks very sharp (South Carolina), sometimes they just don’t. Florida put up 49 in the first half against Kentucky, then got outscored 21-0 in the second half by a team that Indiana whipped. And, yes, I know that Indiana is currently unbeaten too. We shall see how that one plays out.

I tend to fall slightly on the pessimistic side when it comes to Alabama football. I’ve said before that I’m not happy until we have at least one more point than our opponent with 0:00 left, or until we have at least nine more than our opponent with 0:01 left. This will be one of those games, I think, where my emotion for the rest of the day (tempered either way with exhaustion) will be determined sometime deep in the fourth quarter. And, unfortunately for me (and fortunately for my sweet wife), I think that it’ll be disappointment. But it really could go either way.

My pick: Florida 20, Alabama 17

Feel free to leave a “ROLL TIDE” comment if we win, though… 🙂

If Gollum sang love songs…

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I believe that it would go a little something…like this.

We’s all outs of love…
We’s so lost withouts it…
We knows it was right, believing for so long…

Reaching out to touch it…
We can feel so fine…
Since we…founds…it…
Looking through the eyes of love, we does.

Tomorrow morning, if it wakes up,
And the sun does not appear…
Weeeeeeee…precious, we will be here.

Precious…gots us on our knees…
Precious…we’s begging, precious, please…
Precious…(gollum) won’ts it ease our worried mind…

We just called…to say…we loves it…
We just called…to say…how much we cares…(yes, precious, we does…)
We just called…to say…we loves it…
And we means it from the bottom of our heart.

And of course…

At first we was afraid…we was petrified,
Kept thinking we could never live without precious by our side,
But then we spent so many nights thinking how filthy hobbitses did us wrong,
And we grew strong,
“We’ll take precious back for our own!”

And so it’s back…on Baggins’ hand…
We just walked by and saw him with our precious golden band.
We should have killed him then and there,
Him and the fat hobbit too.
Then we would have the precious,
And nasty hobbitses would be through!

Oh, now, we…we will survive…
Oh, as long as we knows where it is,
We knows we’ll stay alive!

me and the gray goo

Approximately every year or so, I get a crazy idea in my head.

You know, I bet Krystals really aren’t that bad…

Tonight was that night. It didn’t hurt that my grandfather wanted those little hot dogs that they have. I don’t even know what they call them. Anyway, I figured while I was there, I might as well get it over with for the year.

For those of you who haven’t had a Krystal, there’s a reason why a friend of mine from UA called them the “gray goo”. The tiny little meat patty has this unsettling way of transferring its natural juices into the bun more than any other hamburger ever. It’s not worth getting into any more than that, except to say that I just can’t bring myself to eat them under most circumstances. Except for when I have the aforementioned thought and “treat” myself to them.

The verdict this time? Let’s just say it’ll be at least another year before I start thinking about having them again.

blast you, Kentucky!

After both of my teams took an early exit from the NCAA tournament, my following of it slowed pretty considerably. But I have to say that I was interested in it over the past couple of days.

Almost every year, I’ve picked a bracket. Never for money, mind you…just to see how well I could do. Well, after three of the best regional final games ever, I stood to achieve something I’d never done in all my years of trying: pick the final four.

I’d had UNC and Illinois (who hadn’t, really), and I’d played upon Louisville’s “us against the world” mentality after being chosen a 4-seed. Now, if only Kentucky could come through…

And they couldn’t. D’oh!

Oh, well. Maybe the perfect bracket exists next year…

everything I learned from Roadrunner cartoons

Keep in mind…I said I learned this stuff. I didn’t say it was all true. Though some of it undoubtedly is.

  • Health insurance is of vital importance. Although I’d hate to have to pay Wile E.’s premiums.
  • Coyotes spook easily.
  • Both roadrunners and coyotes have several different scientific names. Coyotes usually have names dealing with eating; roadrunners with speed.
  • One can communicate with one’s peers solely through signs and sticking one’s tongue out at them.
  • If you are unaware that you are not standing on solid ground, you will not begin to fall until you realize this fact, usually after having tested for ground by reaching with your hand.
  • Wile E. Coyote either was filthy rich, or had a great credit limit. (Either way, why didn’t he just mail order some food from Acme? They’ve got everything else known to man. I’m sure that they could have even gotten roadrunner for him.)
  • Corollary to the above: Wile E. personally kept Acme in business for several years.
  • Roadrunners will almost always eat any seed they find, even if it’s right there on the road, mixed with buckshot.
  • My favorite coyote falling sequence is the “screamer bottle rocket” followed by the “KA-BU-YAH” gunshot sound on impact. Of course, the puff of smoke/sand is required to complete the scene.
  • Coyotes are hesitant to use the same type of plan more than once. If they do, the end results are never the same, excepting for the facts that 1) they don’t catch the roadrunner, and 2) the coyote gets hurt pretty badly.
  • Either Wile E. isn’t a super genius in physics, or several of its laws don’t apply in the contraptions he builds.
  • Roadrunners have 19 different flavors.
  • You can never have too much dynamite or too many matches.
  • A formerly brown coyote that’s just had his fur blown off and is now a charred gray is really funny.
  • Roadrunners can set fire to the surface they run on, if they go fast enough.
  • Roadrunners can interact with fake scenery painted on canvases. Coyotes cannot, except when doing so results in serious bodily harm.
  • The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. The best-laid plans of coyotes often end in explosions.

attention all UA BCMers…

I am in the process of trying to get addresses for wedding invitations to send to Kelly. If you read this, and would like an invitation, shoot me an e-mail with your current address.

another day…another 5 thoughts

  • Why does “Oh, boy” mean good, and “oh, man” mean bad?
  • Why do people call it a “hot water heater”? Wouldn’t the
    water already be hot in this case?
  • I don’t know what’s funnier…that a guy actually called every 867-5309 number out there, or that it didn’t cost him anything to do it.
  • Ooh…pretty…
  • If I could own any fast-food restaurant, I’d pick either a Chick-Fil-A or a Subway. However, doing so would pretty much ensure that I’d weigh 300 pounds one day.