Keep in mind…I said I learned this stuff. I didn’t say it was all true. Though some of it undoubtedly is.
- Health insurance is of vital importance. Although I’d hate to have to pay Wile E.’s premiums.
- Coyotes spook easily.
- Both roadrunners and coyotes have several different scientific names. Coyotes usually have names dealing with eating; roadrunners with speed.
- One can communicate with one’s peers solely through signs and sticking one’s tongue out at them.
- If you are unaware that you are not standing on solid ground, you will not begin to fall until you realize this fact, usually after having tested for ground by reaching with your hand.
- Wile E. Coyote either was filthy rich, or had a great credit limit. (Either way, why didn’t he just mail order some food from Acme? They’ve got everything else known to man. I’m sure that they could have even gotten roadrunner for him.)
- Corollary to the above: Wile E. personally kept Acme in business for several years.
- Roadrunners will almost always eat any seed they find, even if it’s right there on the road, mixed with buckshot.
- My favorite coyote falling sequence is the “screamer bottle rocket” followed by the “KA-BU-YAH” gunshot sound on impact. Of course, the puff of smoke/sand is required to complete the scene.
- Coyotes are hesitant to use the same type of plan more than once. If they do, the end results are never the same, excepting for the facts that 1) they don’t catch the roadrunner, and 2) the coyote gets hurt pretty badly.
- Either Wile E. isn’t a super genius in physics, or several of its laws don’t apply in the contraptions he builds.
- Roadrunners have 19 different flavors.
- You can never have too much dynamite or too many matches.
- A formerly brown coyote that’s just had his fur blown off and is now a charred gray is really funny.
- Roadrunners can set fire to the surface they run on, if they go fast enough.
- Roadrunners can interact with fake scenery painted on canvases. Coyotes cannot, except when doing so results in serious bodily harm.
- The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. The best-laid plans of coyotes often end in explosions.