I don’t have these written down or anything, but I’m pretty sure that there are multiple habits that other drivers on the road have that I can’t stand. (In other words, this could develop into a recurring theme.) Here is the first installment.

Have you ever seen a State Trooper or some other cop on the road and slowed down? I don’t; I’m driving the speed limit. Now, this is not intended to put down those who speed. I’ve accepted this as a fact of life, even if I don’t do it myself. No, my ire here is reserved for a special brand of speeder.

I, of course, am referring to the speeder who, when he/she sees the aforementioned cop car, slows down to 10 miles an hour below the limit.

Have you ever been stuck behind one of these people? Do they not realize that they are perfectly within their right to drive the speed limit, even if it means passing the cop?

I wonder what’s going through the mind of someone who does this. “Hey! If I drive really slowly by the cop, maybe he’ll think I’m a really safe driver! Maybe he’s giving out rewards to anyone who goes under the speed limit! Maybe he’ll even pull me over and take away that ticket that I got in ’92, cause this evens it out!”

Actually, this would be an interesting scene to me:

Driver: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: (No-nonsense voice) License and registration, please.
Driver: Sure.
(Officer takes both and walks back to his car.)
Driver (pleading to himself) C’mon, please, please…
(Officer walks back to driver’s car.)
Officer: Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: Because…I was driving under the speed limit?
Officer: That’s correct. Do you know how slow you were going?
Driver: Maybe… (grimaces) 65?
Officer: Try 60 in a 70.
Driver: (Elated) Really?
Officer: (Now smiling) Yessir…you know what this means, don’t you?
Driver: I sure do!
Officer: You had 4 previous speeding tickets at $75 a piece. Here’s a check from the government for $324.
Driver: (In awe) Interest too?
Officer: That’s right. (Tips hat) Now you have a good day.
Driver: Thanks, officer! I will!

No…this scene will never happen. Instead, whoever this person is will mosey by the cop, forcing me to slow down too. They’ll wait till the cop is out of view, and then speed back up to whatever they were doing before.

And I’ll inwardly caterwaul.