thoughts
I am not the man I should be.
I am not the man I should be.
I do things for the praise of men. I am proud one moment, self-deprecating the next, alternating between boasting of my gifts and denying them.
I am not the man I should be.
I stand idly by and watch and listen as others tear people down. I am Paul watching over the cloaks as countless Stephens are verbally stoned. I don't do anything about it. I don't walk away. I don't actively participate. I am guilty nonetheless.
I am not the man I should be.
I don't talk to my Father as I should. I don't read His word as often as I should. I don't think about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy as often as I should.
I am not the man I should be.
My faith is immature. I'm still drinking milk when I should be eating filet mignon. My soul is crying out from spiritual hunger. I ignore its hunger pangs. There's too much else to do, I say.
I am not the man I should be.
I am afraid of the people I see every day. Afraid of what they'll say if I voice my faith. Afraid of what they'll do if I were to invite them to church or to the BCM. Afraid of what they'll think.
I am not the man I should be.
I seek other things before I seek the kingdom of God. I claim to desire His will, then hope that my will be done.
I am not the man I should be.
I am selfish. I am foolish. I am weak.
I am not the man I should be.
I've said before that I should be living my life for God, and not having people live it for me. I've said it. I haven't done it.
I am not the man I should be.