Ricky's Ramblings

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March 29, 2002

The Most Evil of Plots

I think Microsoft is indeed plotting to take over the world, but not with this whole anti-competitive business practices stuff we see all over the news. The lawsuits with Sun, AOL, Netscape, Novelle, and countless other companies (not to mention the US Government) are just a clever diversion. Think about it...forcing everyone to use Internet Explorer isn't going to give King Bill the true power over our lives that he wants. This side story was developed purposely by the masterminds of Microsoft in order to blind us to their actual plans: card games.

I know that might sound crazy, but hear me out. Microsoft has conveniently included in its operating systems three very popular games...Solitaire, FreeCell, and their latest entry, Spider Solitaire. Has any other creation in the history of mankind produced more wasted time than these three games? Okay, so the television blows them out of the water, but Microsoft started their world domination plans a little too late to be going that route. They toyed with the idea when they started MSNBC, but that never really went anywhere and it's now pretty much an afterthought on most people's channel guides. Microsoft knows that to truly control the people of the world, they have to make them useless and unproductive. What better way to start achieving that goal than "give away" these games? How many times have you walked by a kiosk at the mall late at night when no one's there, only to find the minimum wage teenager working there playing solitaire instead of, well, caring about selling anything? At various stages of my life, how many countless hours have I spent playing these three games? If I had spent that time, say, learning a foreign language or genetically engineering a super-potato, this world could be a better place.

To control a government you must first control its people, and to control its people you must get inside their minds. Once everyone's addicted to playing computer card games, they won't notice that you're taking over the world.

Man, that Gates guy is a GENIUS!